The Incredible Hulk & Superhuman Strength

When I was growing up, one of my favorite tv shows was The Incredible Hulk. Lou Ferrigno played a mild mannered man during the day. But then when he got mad, or someone was in trouble, the 70s music would come on, and he would suddenly change. He grew these huge muscles which ripped his shirt apart. And he turned all green. Then the incredible hulk would save the day with his superhuman strength.

In the Torah, there is also a great story about a man who acts like The Incredible Hulk. And he does it to win over a woman no less! It was our ancestor Jacob. One day, Jacob comes upon a well that was used to water flocks of sheep. There was a huge stone covering it. Normally it would take many men to move this big rock. But then Jacob sees a beautiful woman, Rachel, with her thirsty flock. So Jacob single-handedly moves the stone off the well. Smitten by this act of superhuman strength and bravado, Rachel falls in love with him. And the two decide to get married.

Stories about people performing super-human feats are not reserved only for television or the Bible. All the time we read in the newspaper about acts that we thought were not possible. A father who lifted up a car by the rear bumper to free his daughter caught underneath. And the mountain climber or adventurer who is stranded for days without food or water but finds a way to survive. The story of Jacob’s superhuman act surely reminds us that in desperate times we can find a way to overcome almost any obstacle.

But I think that this story about the big rock also means to teach us a lesson about everyday life. Sometimes life calls upon us to endure many difficulties. And Jacob reminds us that we can handle more than we think we can. We can carry a heavier burden than we thought possible, just as Jacob was able to move that big rock.

Sickness can push us to our limits and beyond. When loved one becomes sick, we are called upon to care for them in ways that push us very hard. Three years ago, I officiated at a funeral for a woman who died over the Thanksgiving weekend. She had Alzheimer’s for years before she passed away. For those years, her husband supported her, taking care of her every need. He would not leave her side and he made sure that they would live together until the end. I am sure that caring of his wife pushed Mel beyond all the limits he thought possible. But when you love someone, you find strength in places you did not suspect. Just like Jacob, whose love helped him move mountains.

I believe that there is an Incredible Hulk within each of us. We all have more inner-strength that we think. Hopefully life will not test us with many situations that require superhuman strength. But if we must face such trials, let us have faith in our own ability to move even the biggest rocks that come our way.

Do Jews Celebrate Thanksgiving?

One mid-November day I was walking the halls of the Temple and I ran into a friend of mine. She wished me a Happy Thanksgiving.  Then she said: “Oh wait a minute. I didn’t mean to offend you. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?” I said: “Of course I do!” She laughed, a bit embarrassed, and then I wished her a Happy Thanksgiving too.

There are many ritual, historical and theological connections between Judaism and Thanksgiving.  The Puritans strongly identified with the historical traditions and customs of the Israelites in the Bible.  In their quest for religious freedom, they viewed their journey to America as exactly analogous to the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. England was Egypt, the king was Pharoah, the Atlantic Ocean their Red Sea and the Puritans were the Israelites, entering into a new covenant with God in a new Promised Land. In fact, most of the Puritans had Hebrew names and there was even a proposal to make Hebrew the language of the colonies!

On this holiday, we give thanks for all of the good in our lives.  Saying “Thank You” is a primary Jewish value. When a Jew eats, he or she says: “Blessed are you God, for bringing bread from the earth.” To say a blessing over bread affirms that God played a role in creating the universe where the sun rises each day and the rain falls and makes the growth of food possible.

The Rabbis taught that we are to say 100 blessings a day.  Saying so many blessings helps us realize that no matter how difficult life can be, we all have much good to celebrate such simply being alive, our health, our friends and our loved ones.

Since it may be hard to come up with 100 blessings, the Rabbis suggested a few. Upon seeing lightening, one may say: “Blessed are you God, who made the world.” When you see the ocean, you can say: “Blessed are you God, who made the great sea.” And upon seeing fruit trees in bloom, one may say: “Blessed are you God, who leaves nothing lacking in the world, who created good creatures and beautiful trees, for the benefit of all people.”

And what about the other 97 blessings? I might suggest that we offer the following words: “Baruch Atah Adonai, Blessed are you God,” and then insert whatever we have to be thankful for. And on Thanksgiving, we might speak this blessing: “Baruch Atah Adoni, Blessed are you God, who has given us the bounty of food and blessing of family.”

Opening the Inbox: A Fly-fishing Bar Mitzvah?

This week I received a fantastic and entertaining e-mail about "A Fly Fishing Bar Mitzvah.” I love getting e-mail, so please write me by clicking on the “Contact Me” link to your right.

Dear Rabbi-

I belong to a reform synagogue in Michigan and my son's bar mitzvah is coming up in March. As you know, often times the "party" to celebrate the bar mitzvah has a theme. Soccer, hockey, tennis, all very easy themes for boys and very common. But in our case, my son's passion is fly fishing.

This tradition runs long in our family - my husband's father was a fly fisherman and my husband grew up fishing from the age of 6. My soon-to-be bar mitzvah boy heard fish stories in utero; he was practically born with a rod in his hand.... So of course it is natural for me to think of a fly fishing theme for his bar mitzvah party. We'll be having the reception at the synagogue. On my side of the family, conservative Jews, fishing is unheard of. My brother tells me "Jews don't fish". Is there some little passage in the bible that tells us that Jews don't fish? My son also catches and releases and tries to be as respectful of the fish as he can. I googled "bar mitzvah theme fishing" and came up with a big zero.

So now I am starting to wonder if there is some unkosher aspect of fishing and being Jewish - since no one seems to have this fly fishing theme bar mitzvah. Will I be making a big faux paux at the synagogue by having a fly fishing themed bar mitzvah? Also, would it be inappropriate to somehow represent Sam's passion for rivers and fishing on the invitation? Or should I keep the bar mitzvah invitation theme neutral and just stick with a symbol of the Torah or a star of David?

Thanks for your input.

-Mother of the fly fishing bar mitzvah boy

P.S. As a footnote, for the table decorations, I'm making a faux fishing rod out of 1/4" PVC pipe, spray painted black, the reel will be made out of used wire spools, spray painted silver, a fishing net made out of flexible foam pipe-cover and netting, and in the middle will be a wicker basket in the shape of a boat, inside which will contain cans of tuna fish, sardines, salmon. I'm making the centerpieces myself to keep the cost down, so that I can fill those baskets with lots of fish and then donate those to our local food shelter.


Dear Mother of the fly fishing bar mitzvah boy,

Thank you for your wonderful e-mail! Let me now offer a few thoughts.

It is true that there seems to be some kind of prejudice against fishing in Judaism. Or as your brother so aptly put it: "Jews don't fish." I'm not sure exactly where this bias came from, but I suspect it has to do with assimilation and separation in America.

When our grandparents or great-grandparents came to this country, they wanted to keep their Jewish identity. Often they lived in their own Jewish neighborhoods. And there was anti-Semitism so that Jews were excluded from country clubs, and even universities. Perhaps some Jews in that generation felt that it was better to be Jewish and separate than to blend in with American culture. They saw some aspects of America as nareshkeit, nonsense. And fishing was included as a silly activity that non-Jews did.

As a fourth generation American Jew who grew up in St. Louis, I feel comfortable being both Jewish and American. And I have no problem going to services at Temple on Friday night and spending a Sunday morning fishing on the river. Just as it is possible to be Jewish and American, I believe one can be a Fly Fishing Jew.

There is nothing in the Torah or the Talmud against fishing as far as I am aware. God created fish on the 5th day and God blesses them by saying: "Be fertile and increase, fill the waters of the seas." One of my favorite stories from the Bible is the book of Jonah, where the prophet is swallowed by a whale and lives in its belly for three days. A careful reading of the Hebrew reveals that the word for "whale" is dag, which means fish. So Jonah actually encountered a giant fish! And finally, the Torah tells us that as humans we are allowed to eat fish. In the book of Leviticus, it says that Jews can consume fish that have scales but should stay away from shellfish. And of course, the fish will not magically appear on our plates. We must fish for them.

And now to your questions. I certainly have no problem with a fly-fishing Bar Mitzvah theme. Perhaps it could include an option to donate to a stream conservation organization like Trout Unlimited or the Nature Conservancy. A part of being a good fisherman is caring for the streams. And personally, I think it might be cute to put a graphic of a fly fisherman and a Jewish star together. Why not?

However, there is a concept in Judaism called "shalom bayit," peace in the house, which may apply here. If including too much fishing in the bar mitzvah is offensive to members of your family, I might suggest keeping it a bit more low key. The significance of this day for your son is not about a big party or fly fishing. It is being able to read from the Torah and become a Jewish adult in the the presence of you, your family and your friends.

Mazal Tov on your happy occasion,

The Fly Fishing Rabbi

Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer

Insurance Commercials, Inspiration and Being a Mensch

Inspiration comes from strange places. A few weeks ago, I saw a commercial on television that sparked my interest. The ad was for an insurance company whose name I forget. I guess it was not that effective from a sales standpoint. But for inspiration, this commercial was pretty good.

First you see a man holding open a door for a woman with a baby carriage. And another woman was watching this act of kindness from the street. The second woman kept walking along. A moment later, she saw a fish vendor under a stack of boxes. One of them was about to fall on the fish guy, so she pushed him out of the way. A second good deed. And a man in a car was watching the woman who pushed the fish vendor. So he decided to let another car into his lane. On and on it went, as the good deeds continued to spread.

Here is the commercial. Press play to view it. Thanks to Andrew for sending this link to me!




The commercial reminded me of a famous Jewish teaching: mitzvah goreret mitzvah: “One good deed leads to another.” But there is a more subtle lesson here as well, a lesson about setting examples. The good deeds spread not by force or by one person telling another. They caught on by example. When the man in the car saw how the woman helped the fish vendor, he was inspired to do his own good deed.

In my own life, I had many people who set good examples for me, including my father. I realize now that I remember more of what my dad did than what he said. One thing about my father is that he is always a good tipper. When we would go out to eat in a restaurant, he would consistently leave over 20%. I watched it happen over and over again for years. When I asked him why, he replied that the waiters and bus-boys worked hard for very little money. And they deserved at least a bit of appreciation from someone. To this day, the example he set for me remains strong. Whenever I pay the bill at a restaurant, I think of him and remember not to be too cheap!

Of course, the power of setting examples cuts both ways. The Rabbis taught: “One good deed leads to another.” They also said: aveirah goreret aveirah: “One transgression leads to another.” When we see others doing something wrong, it becomes just slightly easier to bend or break the rules ourselves. I watch it happen all the time when I drive on the highway. In New York, we are famous for being maniacs behind the wheel, especially on the Long Island Expressway, the LIE. When I first started driving on the LIE, I was pretty safe. I would not cut people off that much and I was patient. Then I started seeing how everyone else drives. And slowly but surely, my safe driving began to deteriorate. I do my best to not cut others off, but it’s hard when I witness what is going on around me.

Perhaps it is these kind of negative examples that when compounded make a whole society malfunction. And that reminds me of the biblical story of Noah and the Ark. At the time of Noah, the people were corrupt and lawless. Maybe it began with just a few bad deeds that others witnessed and said: that’s no big deal. And from there it began to spread. The next thing you knew, the whole earth was filled with lawlessness. And then the rains came and flooded the entire world.

Our deeds in this world are powerful. They affect us. But they also set an example for others. We human beings are astute observers. We are always paying attention to what others are doing. And so let us watch our deeds carefully. Let us be like the woman who pushed the fish vendor out of the way of the falling box. That way, anyone who is watching us, will only learn how to be a mensch, an upright person.