High Holidays: The Asterisk

In the summer of 2007 Barry Bonds hit home run number 756, breaking the all time home run record of Hank Aaron. This historic feat also touched off a controversy over steroids in professional sports, a scandal that has only grown since the famous home run. The Mitchell report was released, Marion Jones went to jail and was stripped of her Olympic medals and Bonds himself did not play baseball in 2008 as no team would sign him.

As the steroids controversy grew, it affected the athletes and the fans and even the very baseball that Barry Bonds hit out of the ballpark. In 2007, the famous homerun ball was caught in the stands by a 22 year old from Queens, who decided to sell it. The fashion designer Marc Ecko purchased the homerun ball for 750,000 dollars. Ecko created a website, vote756.com, where the public would decide the fate of the home run ball. There were three choices: 1) Send the ball to the baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, 2) Put an asterisk on the ball, and then send it to The Hall of Fame or 3) Launch it into space forever.


Picture: From of Mark Ecko's website: www.vote756.com

Over ten million people voted on-line, including yours truly. The winning choice, with 47%, was to brand the ball with an asterisk, and then send it to the Hall of Fame. 34% of the voters said to give it to the Hall of Fame intact, and 19% said to banish it into space. (I voted to banish it. I was in a strict sort of mood.)

As I reflected on the fate of the home-run ball, it was the asterisk that sparked my interest. The voters decided to brand the ball with an asterisk, acknowledging that Barry Bonds’ home run record is open to question. In a sense, the asterisk on the ball is really an asterisk on the whole career of Bonds. In the end, perhaps we will view Bonds’ legacy as imperfect; an amazing athlete who broke the home run record, but who may or may not have cheated along the way.

The fall is the season of the baseball playoffs. It is also the season of the High Holidays. On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we reflect on our lives and our deeds of the past year. We ask ourselves, where have we succeeded and where have we failed? Just as the home run baseball got an asterisk stamped upon it, our misdeeds can place a mark upon us. As we enter the High Holidays, let us take a few moments to reflect upon others, who like Barry Bonds might also need an asterisk next to their names.

History teaches us that some of the great heroes of the past were flawed. I am from St. Louis, and as a boy I learned about the feat of Charles Lindbergh, flying across the Atlantic in the Spirit of St. Louis airplane. There is a Lindbergh Boulevard near my house. What I did not know as a child is that Lindbergh came to believe in eugenics and the superiority of the white race. He was deeply anti-Semitic. He aided the air force of Nazi Germany and was given a medal, The Service Cross of the German Eagle.

Some of our Biblical heroes have a less than perfect record. Abraham saved the people of Sodom and Gemmorah. But on Rosh Hashanah morning we read the Akedah, the story in which Abraham took his son up the mountain and almost sacrificed him. King David wrote beautiful psalms and united the people, but he also sent Bathsheeba’s husband to die on the battlefield so that he could marry her.

It is natural to see the flaws of public figures from afar, whether they be sports stars like Barry Bonds or heroes of the Bible. We are quick to judge their mistakes and place an asterisk next to their names in casual conversation. However, sometimes we place an asterisk on someone that we know. It is when we judge a friend, family member, or someone that we love that true harm can be done.

Parents are in a very powerful position to be a judge. A mother or father needs to teach their children right from wrong and evaluate their actions. But when a parent labels a child as “lazy” or “not as smart as your brother” or “not able to reach a dream or accomplish a goal,” they are judging a child’s character. A parent has the power to brand a child with an asterisk that the child will have to work hard to overcome.

Another way that we brand our loved ones is by holding on to the mistakes of the past. We continue to see them today through the prism of the failures of days gone by. A friend of mine and his younger sister have trouble getting along. As children, my friend says that his sister was always doted on by their parents, and that she got more attention than he did. The sister relished her role as the princess of the family and took every opportunity to rub it in the face of her older brother.

As adults, the younger sister matured into a kind person. She moved beyond the pettiness of her childhood. Yet my friend continues to see his sister as the princess of the family, and cannot let go of the asterisk he placed on her. It is a shame because he is missing the opportunity to have a meaningful relationship with her as an adult.

Sibling rivalry is nothing new to Judaism. The very first brothers in the Torah, Cain and Able fought over God’s approval. After Cain killed his brother, God put a mark on his forehead and Cain wandered the earth for the rest of his life. The mark on Cain teaches us that the asterisk we place upon a loved one with judgment or expectations can travel with them for their entire lives. In all of our relationships, our task is to try to move beyond the asterisks of the past and see people for who they are right now.

On these High Holidays, it is not enough to see the marks that we have placed on our loved ones. At this time of year, we must look for the asterisk next to our names as well. If we take a few moments to reflect on the year gone by, we can all think of times that we deserved an asterisk, times when we acted in ways that were below our highest selves.

On Yom Kippur we sing the ashamnu prayer and offer an alphabetical list of sins, arrogance, bigotry and cynicism, and others. With each misdeed that we speak, we beat our chests to feel the impact of the mistake we made. But perhaps there is another meaning to this symbolic gesture. When we tap our chests, we bring the asterisk on our souls to the surface and we acknowledge it. If we take the time on these High Holidays to face our flaws, those marks on the pages of our souls, then we can begin to shrink the asterisks in ourselves, and move forward in the process of repentance, repair and apology.

As we enter a New Year together, let us remember that it is all too easy for us to magnify the flaws in others and ignore the faults in ourselves. We are quick to see the asterisk on our loved ones as a giant star, and our own mistakes as a tiny footnote on our souls. But perhaps this year we can begin to reverse this equation. Maybe we can begin to see the mistakes of others as part of the imperfection of being human, and move towards reconciliation with friends and loved ones. And if we can magnify our own flaws a little bit this year, and see their true consequences, we stand a much better chance of engaging in teshuvah, repentance.

There is an asterisk on the 756th home run ball of Barry Bonds. In the same way, we all have to acknowledge and deal with our mistakes and failures. However, we can work to shrink the asterisk. If we sincerely try to repair our wrongs, what will emerge is a balanced picture of who we are: human, flawed and imperfect, but striving to be better.